i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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