he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
