I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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