How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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