I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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