How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
