I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
