I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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