well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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