The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
