if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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