So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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