If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
