So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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