Small penises have feelings too.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
