Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
