I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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