Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
