i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
