Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
