Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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