At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
