FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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