glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
