Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
