YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I checked into jail on foursquare
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
