Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
