U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
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