hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
