I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
