I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
