Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
