nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she pinky promised me she was 18
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
