I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
