i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
