well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
