Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
