My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Dicks are not precious.
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