It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
