I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
