i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
