Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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