This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
