just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
