I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
