Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
