Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
false alarm, still single
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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