she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
