Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
