Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
